Unlocking Desire: Reclaiming Your Right to Pleasure
In all my conversations with clients, friends, and even my own reflections, one truth stands out: we often place limits on our own pleasure. Whether it’s feeling rushed, battling mental blocks, or worrying about our partner’s satisfaction, these barriers can prevent us from fully embracing the joy that intimacy has to offer.
Let me share something that has shifted my perspective and might shift yours too: I’ve never met a man who wants sex out of obligation. Yet, so many women I speak to approach sex with a sense of duty rather than genuine desire. This pattern isn’t just a roadblock to connection; it’s a sign that we need to reframe how we think about pleasure.
You are worthy of more pleasure in your sex life! Everyone is capable of more pleasure, and it’s not a resource that runs out. If you’ve ever doubted that, it’s time to rewrite the story.
The Mental Block of Worthiness
For many, pleasure feels like something to be earned rather than a birthright. Maybe it’s societal conditioning, unrealistic expectations, or the invisible pressure to “perform.” These mental blocks whisper, You don’t deserve this or You’re taking too long.
I’ve been there too. There were times when I felt disconnected from my own pleasure—like my body and mind weren’t on the same page. But what I’ve learned, both personally and professionally, is that these blocks are normal, and the first step to overcoming them is acknowledgment. When you shine a light on these thoughts, they lose their power.
Letting Your Partner Be Part of the Solution
Here’s the thing: your partner doesn’t want obligation—they want connection. They want you to enjoy yourself, to feel present, and to share that pleasure together. If you’re facing a mental block, let them know ahead of time. For me, sharing these moments of vulnerability with Brad has made all the difference.
I’ll tell him, “I’ve been feeling stuck in my head lately, but I want to move through it with you.” In the moment, I’ll ask him to slow down, to remind me that there’s no rush, and to let me know he’s here for my pleasure too. Hearing him say, I want this to feel good for you. Take all the time you need, is often enough to help me let go of the mental chatter and lean into the experience.
This isn’t about placing the burden on your partner to fix things—it’s about creating a space where you feel safe to explore and reconnect with your body.
You Are Worthy of More Pleasure
Everyone is capable of more pleasure. It’s not a finite resource, and it doesn’t diminish when you give it or receive it. The key is giving yourself permission to fully experience it.
Pleasure isn’t just about the physical sensations… it’s about the emotional and mental connection that comes with it. By acknowledging your worthiness and leaning into moments of vulnerability, you’re opening the door to deeper intimacy and joy.
Practical Steps to Move Through Mental Blocks
Acknowledge the Block: Simply naming what you’re feeling can release its grip. Say it out loud to yourself or share it with your partner.
Lean on Your Partner: Let them know what you’re experiencing and invite them to help you slow down and feel more present.
Shift the Focus: Remind yourself that intimacy isn’t about rushing to the finish line. It’s about the connection, the journey, and the shared experience.
Reframe Your Mindset: Replace thoughts of obligation with affirmations like, I am worthy of bliss. I am capable of experiencing more pleasure.
Stay Curious: Pleasure is expansive. Approach it with a mindset of curiosity rather than expectation.
You are worthy of more pleasure in your sex life!! Pleasure that’s abundant, authentic, and free from obligation. By acknowledging mental blocks, inviting your partner into the process, and reframing how you think about intimacy, you can create experiences that feel deeply fulfilling.
Remember: pleasure isn’t something you earn. It’s something you’re capable of and deserve. Let yourself embrace it fully, knowing there’s always more waiting for you.
